Below is a story that Tyler wrote in August of 2005 at age ten. Tyler's love and devotion to Timmy continues to surprise and touch me.
He was born April 18.
I remember when she told me because it was the night before Halloween.
It was the night before Halloween when my mom told the kids-my brother Anthony, my sister Natalia and me that she was going to have a baby.
I was really excited when I found out I was going to have a baby brother or sister. It was hard to wait; I wanted to be born right away.
We talked about the baby a lot during dinner and other times when my family was together. We talked about what we’d name it if it was a boy or a girl. My mom liked the name Timothy. We all guessed how much it would weigh and how long it would be. We talked about where the kids would go when my mom and dad were at the hospital.
Got home from school and she was having labor pains so my dad took us all to the hospital. Watched TV in the hospital room where Timmy was born. We felt excited that the baby was finally going to be born and we were hoping that he’d be a healthy baby when he came out.
My mom was screaming really loud but she kept saying, “Don’t worry, Kids, I’m fine!”
One hour later Timmy was born.
He was the only one of us who broke his own water. The Doc had to break the water on all the rest of us.
We were going to do a thing where one of us would hold Tim first , one would cut the umbilical cord, and one would choose his middle name. The doc cut the cord, my mom thought of a middle name first, but I got to hold the baby first.
The second he came out I got to start videotaping my mom smiling and laughing and crying all at the same time.
I gave my dad the video camera so I could hold Timmy. I was the first person to hold Timmy besides my mom.
The doctor poured some water over his head and cleaned him.
My cousins and some friends came right after Timmy was born. At one point we had 17 people crammed into a room, or 18 if you count Timmy!
Tim, Mom, and Dad stayed at the hospital for two days.
The first night I stayed with my neighbors across the street and the second night I stayed with a friend.
My mom and dad let me come to the hospital every day instead of going to school because I really wanted to be with Timmy.
Every morning my Dad picked me up and I got to stay there all day. I got to hold Timmy and watch the few times he opened his eyes. This was a happy moment for me and my mom and dad.
I even remember how much he weighed and how long he was.
One of my most special memories is my brother Timmy being born.
Below is a copy of the paper Tyler wrote in his language arts class in November. I wish could could understand just how much love he gave Timmy.....
Good Night Can Make All the Difference
Has something ever happened to you that you regretted for the rest of your life? Some regrets are big, such as doing drugs or going to prison while others can be seemingly small. It was one of those seemingly small regrets that happened to me. I forgot to say goodnight.
I had a baby brother who was 16 months old. He was adorable, he would laugh, talk, and walk. Two years ago he suddenly died with no warning. This devastated my whole family. Later the doctors were able to tell us that he had died from a giant tumor in his heart. Eventually our family came to accept that he was gone although we were all still incredibly sad. Everyone was able to feel better because they could all say they spent the whole time at the end with him; everyone except me.
Every Tuesday night we liked to sit down and watch “Dancing with the Stars” together as a family. One night I decided that I did not want to watch that show, that I would rather go watch a cartoon downstairs by myself. Afterwards I was so tired I went straight to bed.
The next morning started like any other normal day. My brother was still asleep as usual so I just got ready and went to school. Later that day I got called to the office and one of my parents’s good friends was there ready to take me home. I thought this was weird but went along with it. When I got home my mom and dad sat us down and told me and my brother and sister that our baby brother had died.
A week after, we were all sitting around the dinner table, silent, when my mom said, “We are all lucky that we were there for his last night.” Hearing this I realized that I was not there, that I was the only one who had not said goodnight. I realized that because of a selfish act to get away from the family and do my own things that I had not been there for the end.
To this day, two years later, I have not been able to place that one piece of the puzzle that lets you know you used and enjoyed the time you had with them because I was not their in the end to say the last goodnight. Now every night I make sure that if something bad was to happen to someone in the night, the last words I said or did not say would not be ones that I regretted for the rest of my life.
When you go to sleep tonight make sure that you say goodnight, or anything that will let you fill in the that last puzzle piece.
This morning during a tribute to Michael Jackson the song Gone Too Soon was played. It touched me and made me think of Timmy. These are the lyrics. Mommy misses you Timmy.........
What I wouldn't give right now to play in the water with Timmy again. Sometimes the want of what should be is just too unbearable....
